March 30,2007

Dear Texas,

Thank you for all of the citizens within your borders that still wish you would separate from the United States and become your own country. We understand that you would have done this a long time ago, but while you would be the most badass country in the world you also have a compassionate side. If you were to succeed in becoming your own country the US would crumble around you. Then your government employees would be forced to spend countless man hours attempting to repel illegal immigrants from Oklahoma, New Mexico, Arkansas, and Louisiana. We know that you just don't want to deal with the paperwork. If you do become your own country, please immediately nuke California.